Day: March 25, 2010

It seems to always feel like this
– Quicksand:
The more you struggle the faster you sink
You know the only way to get through is to hold your breath and relax
But how do you keep from panicking?
You’re whole body screams at you to take a breath
Only you’re brain can resist
How long can you last?
For how long will you still be sane?
Can you hold it until you surface?
Wait to take that first breath of untempered freedom?
Or will you fold, take two lungfulls of sand and sink straight to the bottom?

Do you ever ask yourself how people do it?
Ever hate your mind?
Want to take a drill to it so it will stop asking you questions that you will never know the answer to?
I even hate my feeble attempts to describe my extreme lament I hold for my intellect
Maybe words will not be enough

Big world
Small perspective
Our limitations and horisions
So close
But too far to be inspected
Horty are we
Enclosed enslaved
By our own desires of our own design
One sniff of true freedom would tip us over the line
This world ever changing and unchanged
Will witness our passing 1 step behind
The devine

Life is full of defecation, deceit and mass orgies of altruistic violence
An all in mass brawl for just one moment’s silence
We take different paths to seek our own demons, fall down the hole
To ensure our own existence but after the fall we would give it all for just one moment’s
Silence
Life is full of everything and you can find whatever you need
But heed this the silence will not come until the end
And of course it will depend on the choices you make
Both heaven and hell are here and your mind will decide for you what place to reside
Remember they are your choices
Remember that as you search through the ashes of your life for
That one moment of silence

I never believed in myself
Never needed to till now
Never had a reason
Already knew I was a loser
Fear finds many excuses
So hard to overcome
They become your way of life
They steal your will to do better
The only reason,
The only cure
Is love

He knows me well
He watched me fall
He may have even helped
Not that I needed it
We both know that
And they turn on us
As they always do
Not understanding
What it’s like to be above them
To see straight through the façade
Morality is for the weak
We both know the father
More than they ever will
They will never understand
Why He needs us
And why their fear controls
Their pathetic righteous lives
Only we can know why
We are the hated ones
That keep this world alive

The sky is falling and I can’t breathe,
You tell me it isn’t but I can’t ignore what I see
I feel it coming down and closing around me,
It is terrifying and you can’t help you can’t hold up the heavens,
You can’t breathe for me
I am trapped it is so hard to hold the world at bay
But I have no other choice this won’t just fade away
Or get better like all those people keep saying
They don’t know they can’t see it they just say what they think there supposed to say
And it does not help I can’t breathe words don’t change that
And when they say they are so matter of fact like I can flick the switch
‘oh your just having a bad day’
I’m stronger than all you bastards lets see you hold the sky for so long
But is it worth it, the struggle and pain of holding on
I get tired like everyone else
And all I want is a holiday.

Peace allows complacency
Complacency breeds ineptitude
Ineptitude starts the rot
And when the rot is done………..
It’s all on for love or money